Portland, OR – After a surprising front of what locals call “Oregon blue clouds” arrived last week, temperatures soared and Portland’s masses were forced to complain about something other than dreary weather.
As the mercury rose and the rest of the United States East of the Oregon border baked in 100+ degree temperatures, homeowners, renters and hipsters searched for words to describe how uncomfortable the weather was.
“It’s Africa hot out there” stated self-proclaimed fixie rider and barista Tristan Foden-Veldt, as he wrapped yet another bandanna over his quaff. The Maryland raised Foden-Veldt continued “I should know, I’ve been to Cairo.”
The surprise viewing of the sun in Portland, which apparently also revolves around the golden glowing mass of gasses like the rest of North America, caught many Portland residents off-guard.
“It just sits there in the clouds, burning my hair and making it hard to read my iPhone” complained Salvage Harrison, a stylist. “I wish it could be winter already”
Taking a completely different tack, Pete Wilson of Pete Wilson Stoneworks admits, “I wish I’d have bought these shirts last week” in reference to his company’s summer work tees.
A lighter colored, slightly lighter weight tee, with his company logo emblazoned on the front, Wilson believe that the new tee will be more comfortable on the job site during Portland’s season of the blue clouds. “Stonemasonry is hard work, and good weather allows for better progress on our projects.”
When asked what he meant by good weather, Wilson replied, “80 degrees and sunshine is as close to the definition of good work weather as you’ll find.”
Some people just don’t get it.
MANVIL is thankful to clients like Pete Wilson Stoneworks, and also for the great weather in Portland!